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Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28202) - you deserved it (2455)
On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22429) - you deserved it (6495)
On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22513) - you deserved it (4013)
On 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by bobin - United States
Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7742) - you deserved it (31159)
On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30872) - you deserved it (2412)
On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (5915)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9738) - you deserved it (30633)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14621) - you deserved it (25179)
On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27044) - you deserved it (1972)
On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21497) - you deserved it (1839)
On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25437) - you deserved it (36877)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25404) - you deserved it (4085)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20206) - you deserved it (2376)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Peekaboo (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, not long after having had my college volleyball scholarship confirmed, I broke my ankle after stepping on and tripping over a toy my baby sister had left out. No scholarship and no college whatsoever now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (1767)
On 08/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24358) - you deserved it (2295)
On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 17 June 2013
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