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Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29636) - you deserved it (16883)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States
Today, I got married. About five minutes after I got my huge wedding dress on, I had to pee. It took three people to help me not pee on my dress, and my bridesmaids took pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19739) - you deserved it (7389)
On 11/12/2011 at 3:30am - love - by summinay - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33241) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31702) - you deserved it (2232)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:06am - love - by so romantic - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (3033)
On 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm - love - by Nicoli - United States (Washington)
Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16089) - you deserved it (6803)
On 11/10/2011 at 12:56am - animals - by Doggy... (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32203) - you deserved it (2320)
On 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Romania (Mures)
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (2826)
On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (1850)
On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17011) - you deserved it (3996)
On 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)
Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13079) - you deserved it (26898)
On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26675) - you deserved it (1700)
On 11/07/2011 at 7:13am - misc - by maf811 - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (1381)
On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12134) - you deserved it (24145)
On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved
Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (2937)
On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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