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Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36889) - you deserved it (2195)
On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (2259)
On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56563) - you deserved it (2318)
On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)
Today, my friends and I were going to do an ugly sweater photo shoot. When we met up, one of them was wearing a sweater I gave on her birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20994) - you deserved it (8679)
On 11/25/2011 at 1:08pm - misc - by ravlol - United States (Missouri)
Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10657) - you deserved it (40092)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38602) - you deserved it (6349)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore
Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24121) - you deserved it (4839)
On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -
Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11457) - you deserved it (14260)
On 11/23/2011 at 3:19am - animals - by bonertoolong - United States (Texas)
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (8149)
On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -
Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20646) - you deserved it (1726)
On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -
Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35244) - you deserved it (6859)
On 11/22/2011 at 1:06pm - health - by Bob - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20759) - you deserved it (2038)
On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24208) - you deserved it (437)
On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)
Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (2916)
On 11/18/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by hannahk267 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17679) - you deserved it (2143)
On 11/18/2011 at 5:49am - misc - by Etyl (woman) - Indonesia (Jawa Tengah)
Monday 20 May 2013
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