Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zieelona

Online | Search for a member

zieelona

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 December 1980 (34 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 253
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zieelona's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 9 hours ago<b>wmt1978</b> - 19 hours ago<b>katrynaalyse</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:49pm<b>wakemeupplease</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:16pm<b>712sash</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:38am<b>MechanicKayla</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:03pm<b>zebralover23</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 2:28am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:15am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 10:54pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:22am<b>Incognito_1924</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:22pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:56pm<b>waterhead115</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 2:36pm

zieelona's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of zieelona's badges

zieelona's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47263) - you deserved it (6764)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50383) - you deserved it (4749)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (3329)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (18512)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9904) - you deserved it (60085)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30784) - you deserved it (1928)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML

#19202074
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23296) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (3517)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73996) - you deserved it (7708)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got motion sickness while having sex. FML

#16265516
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40727) - you deserved it (6479)

On 05/20/2011 at 10:39am - intimacy - by mikeycoco -

Today, I spent a hundred dollars on new "business casual" clothes and took two hours to get ready for my interview with a government agency. My interviewer was blind. FML

#13353654
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25964) - you deserved it (6588)

On 10/07/2010 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (6619)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML

#3777145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11114) - you deserved it (48955)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by far23 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting ready to get in the shower. Completely naked, I pulled the curtain away and there was a huge spider on the wall in the shower. I screamed and my husband, disoriented from sleeping, came running in and knocked me over. I killed the spider with my forehead and broke my nose. FML



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: