zieelona

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Offline (the 03/25/2016 at 4:32am)

zieelona

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 December 1980 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 557
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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zieelona's page activity

Visits<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:33pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:10am<b>tigershark44</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 2:55am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:38pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:33pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:00pm<b>katrynaalyse</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:49pm<b>wakemeupplease</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:16pm<b>712sash</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:38am<b>MechanicKayla</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:03pm<b>zebralover23</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 2:28am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:15am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 10:54pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:22am<b>Incognito_1924</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:22pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:56pm

zieelona's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of zieelona's badges

zieelona's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

by FMBs / 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML

by socially awkward / 03/10/2012 at 1:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2012 at 10:54am / United States / Health

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got motion sickness while having sex. FML

by mikeycoco / 05/20/2011 at 10:39am / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

by WhyMe? / 03/01/2011 at 8:24am / Intimacy

Today, I spent a hundred dollars on new "business casual" clothes and took two hours to get ready for my interview with a government agency. My interviewer was blind. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Work