Reading these makes my day haha : )
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31731) - you totally deserved it (2588)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37352) - you totally deserved it (5954)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I skipped class to take the girl I like to the airport, and after giving her a goodbye hug I kissed her on the cheek. She laughed and said "Maybe we should discuss some boundaries when I get back." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you totally deserved it (4064)
On 09/03/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by strikeout (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30379) - you totally deserved it (1288)
On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)
Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8025) - you totally deserved it (26244)
On 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36293) - you totally deserved it (2383)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad met my boyfriend. The first words out of my dad's mouth were "If my daughter sees your penis, I'll cut it off". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43334) - you totally deserved it (4473)
On 08/27/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5332) - you totally deserved it (35826)
On 08/26/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by brokennose (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you totally deserved it (1663)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you totally deserved it (6867)
On 08/25/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Cossack_Man (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you totally deserved it (2821)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18025) - you totally deserved it (10777)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10613) - you totally deserved it (21454)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18407) - you totally deserved it (733)
On 08/23/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35406) - you totally deserved it (9924)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)
