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zehbruh

Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 9:17pm) | Search for a member

zehbruh

1Fucked!

zehbruhzehbruh
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 July 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1298
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About zehbruh : If there's anything you want to know just ask :)

zehbruh's page activity

Visits<b>RA91</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:59pm<b>bbycks304</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 8:34am<b>Spark_Slicker</b> - the 08/09/2012 at 1:47am<b>jlstough</b> - the 03/18/2012 at 7:39pm<b>qiangqiangsheng</b> - the 02/27/2012 at 10:36pm<b>brick_man33</b> - the 12/20/2011 at 2:02am

Fucked!<b>RA91</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:00pm

zehbruh's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of zehbruh's badges

zehbruh's favorite FMLs

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29714) - you deserved it (3698)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (11522)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (1999)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

#21419654
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (4594)

On 06/02/2015 at 11:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I stuck my hand out the car window and noticed my arm fat flapping in the wind. FML

#21409639
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (9156)

On 05/13/2015 at 7:19pm - health - by windthroughmyflab - United States

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (3315)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML

#21340725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (4412)

On 01/20/2015 at 1:14am - misc - by iamamermaid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33491) - you deserved it (4476)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (14296)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26197) - you deserved it (3964)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36294) - you deserved it (3761)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17323) - you deserved it (28215)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (2504)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML



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