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zapowneryi

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zapowneryi
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  • Number of visits : 22
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zapowneryi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML

#5970435
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6396) - you deserved it (115564)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

#4105685
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6871) - you deserved it (108319)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by idiot (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

#4102567
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7321) - you deserved it (103611)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13682) - you deserved it (110404)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (133818)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

#1879175
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22795) - you deserved it (133746)

On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10972) - you deserved it (99971)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML

#764209
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (116532)

On 04/02/2009 at 9:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11554) - you deserved it (168260)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12497) - you deserved it (153210)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9427) - you deserved it (103125)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

#590218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15308) - you deserved it (94481)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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