Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zanguard

Search for a member

zanguard

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1591
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About zanguard : My picture says it all.

zanguard's page activity

Visits<b>mip_92</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:55am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:42pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:11am<b>Falkin0113</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:19pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Gemma_Mansonite</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:28pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:26pm<b>myoukei</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:43pm<b>bmmondi95</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 12:10pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 10:38am<b>drdeathnacho</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:11pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:28pm<b>bassguitar98</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:06am<b>LaCary</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:57am<b>Whorunstheworld</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:15pm<b>colinlb</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:53am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 4:37am<b>dittoss</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:37pm

zanguard's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zanguard's favorite FMLs

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

#18713489
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (3717)

On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

#18713079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11530) - you deserved it (31383)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:58am - misc - by Kyle - United States

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML

#18154487
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28323) - you deserved it (6192)

On 11/04/2011 at 2:57am - love - by foreverashamed - Canada

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17636) - you deserved it (49828)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

#18153608
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (8407)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)

Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

#18153338
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28452) - you deserved it (2290)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:04am - work - by fired (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML

#18146377
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13698) - you deserved it (28728)

On 11/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Czechplease - United States

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

#18138083
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (4157)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by miley098 - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML

#18137857
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39259) - you deserved it (5183)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:01pm - love - by brie - United States (California)

Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML

#18137857
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39259) - you deserved it (5183)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:01pm - love - by brie - United States (California)

Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML

#18090204
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/27/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by omgomgomg (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

#18070984
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23822) - you deserved it (19116)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:42am - love - by birgz (woman) -

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

#18065125
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24989) - you deserved it (2029)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:06pm - health - by Britney - United States

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (5187) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44939) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: