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zandizee

Offline (the 09/26/2014 at 4:40am) | Search for a member

zandizee

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  • Number of visits : 73
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zandizee's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML

#20427233
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (6347)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:03am - kids - by UngratefulBrat - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (4815)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50519) - you deserved it (3538)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39923) - you deserved it (4025)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

#20417781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37411) - you deserved it (7171)

On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (1486)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22621) - you deserved it (2530)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18031) - you deserved it (11732)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (3725)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26012) - you deserved it (2326)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19030) - you deserved it (5419)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

#20124915
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18994) - you deserved it (24281)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (2641)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

#20090883
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (1660)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18256) - you deserved it (29312)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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