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zandizee

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zandizee

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  • Number of visits : 47
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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zandizee's favorite FMLs

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51218) - you deserved it (3860)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40228) - you deserved it (13538)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44205) - you deserved it (3146)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

#20434472
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37786) - you deserved it (3568)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46486) - you deserved it (7047) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45261) - you deserved it (2841)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30400) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30015) - you deserved it (5942)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (5939)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27460) - you deserved it (8268)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39547) - you deserved it (4954)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

#20431241
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33415) - you deserved it (2432)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37928) - you deserved it (2309)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

#20430536
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28122) - you deserved it (7047)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (44624) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada



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