Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 12/28/2014 at 5:14am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3602
  • Number of comments : 1750
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About zandalee : So excited for 2014!!

zandalee's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - yesterday at 12:55pm<b>DeltaDragonxx</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 4:20pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 3:39pm<b>fionna_fiamma</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:40am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 9:15pm<b>kitcattt</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 2:21pm<b>evanjl4</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 9:14pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:14pm<b>volleyball1392</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 12:39am<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 12:09am<b>fooad444</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 3:37pm<b>lemmegetsumpizza</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:13am<b>qwertyduck49</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 8:31pm<b>xyris</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:57pm

Fucked!<b>SoulEaterSE</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:08pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:17am<b>uselessfag</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:39am<b>obamas_baby</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:52pm<b>sky413</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:53am<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:51pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:53am<b>Spentpoet</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:41am<b>Ervinator35</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:30am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:11am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:01am<b>poirot</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:33pm

zandalee's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of zandalee's badges

zandalee's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9663) - you deserved it (53727)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34545) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18931) - you deserved it (9251)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30618) - you deserved it (4019)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35568) - you deserved it (1802)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28825) - you deserved it (3083)

On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28190) - you deserved it (5283)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (3412)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (67299) - you deserved it (5545)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML


I agree, your life sucks (29373) - you deserved it (16848)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressed out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17864) - you deserved it (8498)

On 04/11/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by dl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (3719)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (15897)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: