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Offline (the 12/28/2014 at 5:14am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4863
  • Number of comments : 1750
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About zandalee : So excited for 2014!!

zandalee's page activity

Visits<b>ArcaneBullshit</b> - yesterday at 9:08am<b>PyramidKingMC</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 7:43am<b>R_Horsefeet</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 3:36am<b>max367</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 2:50pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 11:53pm<b>Bowery</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 5:09pm<b>magicdust95</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 6:18am<b>Kidstablet</b> - the 11/08/2016 at 11:17pm<b>HUGBUG</b> - the 11/08/2016 at 5:43pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 2:15pm<b>DeezButs67</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 10:56pm<b>GlennGuagmire</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 3:53pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 4:41am<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 9:55pm<b>CJ77</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 7:32pm<b>sherri_baby88</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 3:17pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 10:35pm<b>int15</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 3:35pm

Fucked!<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:44pm<b>weird_adult</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 1:37am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 12:36am<b>colder13</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:23pm<b>SaniK</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:34pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:10pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:05pm<b>SoulEaterSE</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:08pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:17am<b>uselessfag</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:39am<b>obamas_baby</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:52pm<b>sky413</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:53am<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:51pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:53am<b>Spentpoet</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:41am<b>Ervinator35</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:30am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:11am

zandalee's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

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See all of zandalee's badges

zandalee's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

by strugglingartist / 01/26/2013 at 1:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 4:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

by majorlyturnedoff / 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

by dafuqdidihear / 08/11/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

by Taylor / 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressed out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML

by dl / 04/11/2012 at 10:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 1:40pm / United States (California) / Health