Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zaku2capt

Search for a member

zaku2capt

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 567
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About zaku2capt : I love gundam particulary the 8th ms team and oh I love WW2 history as well.

zaku2capt's page activity

Visits<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:46pm<b>thatjonesboy223</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:50am<b>alexis083000</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 4:54pm<b>vixsin</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 3:29pm

zaku2capt's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

zaku2capt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (1935)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

#19531341
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25131) - you deserved it (2520)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33253) - you deserved it (2806)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44947) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25171) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35936) - you deserved it (2896)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (7793)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25957) - you deserved it (2542)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

#17389169
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25711) - you deserved it (4265)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41967) - you deserved it (10340)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43739) - you deserved it (3678)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69822) - you deserved it (6568)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18961) - you deserved it (41614)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23736) - you deserved it (2188)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (13056)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: