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zah_ali

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zah_ali
  • Town/Country : Edinburgh, Scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 June 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 772
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zah_ali's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

#14930837
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6986) - you deserved it (65205)

On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28145) - you deserved it (5107) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (25747) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11121) - you deserved it (44596)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11580) - you deserved it (79451)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52295) - you deserved it (8843)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

#14074806
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34694) - you deserved it (4918)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52467) - you deserved it (9842)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

#13990251
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29142) - you deserved it (2371)

On 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by bleh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML

#13853970
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (4670)

On 11/15/2010 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the ice cream truck went by my house for the seventh time today, as it has for the last seven days of my fasting. FML

#12563686
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (7559)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:35pm - misc - by IceCreamCraver (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (6328)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

#4031400
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67518) - you deserved it (8235)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)



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