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zah_ali's favorite FMLs
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by bleh / 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by rockefoe / 11/15/2010 at 3:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by IceCreamCraver / 08/16/2010 at 4:35pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
by justlittleoldme / 03/12/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML
by misopower / 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm / China (Henan) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…