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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 June 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1863
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zah_ali's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:47am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:15am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:09pm<b>primadonna01</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:39am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:18am<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 5:36am<b>Dusk_Shores</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 9:27am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 12/26/2010 at 1:18pm<b>perdix</b> - the 09/21/2010 at 2:25pm<b>brianjman14</b> - the 09/16/2010 at 3:41pm<b>VivianTheAspie</b> - the 07/03/2010 at 6:23am

zah_ali's FML badges


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

zah_ali's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

by Zibby / 02/11/2011 at 12:51am / Intimacy

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

by swindstorm / 12/06/2010 at 7:24am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

by bleh / 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML

by rockefoe / 11/15/2010 at 3:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the ice cream truck went by my house for the seventh time today, as it has for the last seven days of my fasting. FML

by IceCreamCraver / 08/16/2010 at 4:35pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

by justlittleoldme / 03/12/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

by misopower / 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm / China (Henan) / Intimacy