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zah_ali

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zah_ali

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 June 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 915
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zah_ali's page activity

Visits<b>primadonna01</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:39am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:18am<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 5:36am<b>Dusk_Shores</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 9:27am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 12/26/2010 at 1:18pm<b>perdix</b> - the 09/21/2010 at 2:25pm<b>brianjman14</b> - the 09/16/2010 at 3:41pm<b>VivianTheAspie</b> - the 07/03/2010 at 6:23am

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Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

zah_ali's favorite FMLs

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46694) - you deserved it (13854)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69008) - you deserved it (9539)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46018) - you deserved it (15395)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54374) - you deserved it (27339)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70405) - you deserved it (15293)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

#15395122
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53644) - you deserved it (4124)

On 03/20/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37959) - you deserved it (7073)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

#15381782
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18870) - you deserved it (61347)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

#15237271
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (5885)

On 03/08/2011 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (23381)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45173) - you deserved it (13023)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13231) - you deserved it (47270)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43957) - you deserved it (5954)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (58678)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)



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