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zah_ali's favorite FMLs
by fmlguy382 / 06/22/2011 at 4:13am / United States / Intimacy
by Me / 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by secretpornstar / 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
by kaleigh / 05/31/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 6:06am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy
by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy
Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
by 2classicNot2 / 04/09/2011 at 3:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by notfunny / 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML