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zah_ali

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zah_ali
  • Town/Country : Edinburgh, Scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 June 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 779
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zah_ali's favorite FMLs

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44058) - you deserved it (6900)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

#16762179
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (4815)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by Me - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML

#16646185
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43173) - you deserved it (17208)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by secretpornstar - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46332) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (15383)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52847) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9639) - you deserved it (35557)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

#16435033
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33620) - you deserved it (8887)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by kaleigh - United States

Today, I got motion sickness while having sex. FML

#16265516
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36240) - you deserved it (5968)

On 05/20/2011 at 10:39am - intimacy - by mikeycoco -

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

#16218945
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40729) - you deserved it (6951)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38731) - you deserved it (16719)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

#15705121
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16740) - you deserved it (28281)

On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

#15700119
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31637) - you deserved it (5922)

On 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm - love - by notfunny - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (31935)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

#15689695
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13506) - you deserved it (38269)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -



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