Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zah_ali

Search for a member

zah_ali

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 June 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1065
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zah_ali's page activity

Visits<b>primadonna01</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:39am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:18am<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 5:36am<b>Dusk_Shores</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 9:27am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 12/26/2010 at 1:18pm<b>perdix</b> - the 09/21/2010 at 2:25pm<b>brianjman14</b> - the 09/16/2010 at 3:41pm<b>VivianTheAspie</b> - the 07/03/2010 at 6:23am

zah_ali's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

zah_ali's favorite FMLs

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36210) - you deserved it (10976)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

#17903421
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33771) - you deserved it (3718)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11794) - you deserved it (48252)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46361) - you deserved it (8270)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50869) - you deserved it (6088)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

#17781306
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13194) - you deserved it (32174)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35064) - you deserved it (6144) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51234) - you deserved it (9845)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32884) - you deserved it (8233)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

#17221687
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (4474)

On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (5366)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73796) - you deserved it (7690)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61286) - you deserved it (7526)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38877) - you deserved it (15623)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35462) - you deserved it (9760)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: