zah_ali

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zah_ali

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 June 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1533
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zah_ali's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:47am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:15am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:09pm<b>primadonna01</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:39am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:18am<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 5:36am<b>Dusk_Shores</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 9:27am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 12/26/2010 at 1:18pm<b>perdix</b> - the 09/21/2010 at 2:25pm<b>brianjman14</b> - the 09/16/2010 at 3:41pm<b>VivianTheAspie</b> - the 07/03/2010 at 6:23am

zah_ali's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

zah_ali's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

by bigmistake / 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

by Doy / 12/19/2011 at 1:31am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him for the first time. His response was to smile and pat me on the head. FML

by teejayrn / 12/17/2011 at 1:49am / United States / Love

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friends and I were going to do an ugly sweater photo shoot. When we met up, one of them was wearing a sweater I gave on her birthday. FML

by ravlol / 11/25/2011 at 1:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

by Faithful / 11/24/2011 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

by whatadisappointmnet / 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

by me / 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

by pixiebubz / 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm / Australia / Health