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zah_ali

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zah_ali
  • Town/Country : Edinburgh, Scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 June 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 776
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zah_ali's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (37899)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24122) - you deserved it (11765)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (5215)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

#18550542
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20310) - you deserved it (7425)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Doy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him for the first time. His response was to smile and pat me on the head. FML

#18533113
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26319) - you deserved it (4297)

On 12/17/2011 at 1:49am - love - by teejayrn - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18042) - you deserved it (22233)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46339) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, my friends and I were going to do an ugly sweater photo shoot. When we met up, one of them was wearing a sweater I gave on her birthday. FML

#18346982
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23442) - you deserved it (9158)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:08pm - misc - by ravlol - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43455) - you deserved it (6838)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32839) - you deserved it (23911)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

#18165328
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (8939)

On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35200) - you deserved it (4878)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27532) - you deserved it (6461)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11970) - you deserved it (24133)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia



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