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zah_ali

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zah_ali
  • Town/Country : Edinburgh, Scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 June 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 774
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zah_ali's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21513) - you deserved it (50346)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (17834)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16619) - you deserved it (3057)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22338) - you deserved it (5638)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35894) - you deserved it (24927)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10511) - you deserved it (24501)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25484) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16467) - you deserved it (28443)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (2711)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

#18949271
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you deserved it (54909)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18028) - you deserved it (5675)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (5457)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

#18832495
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19756) - you deserved it (2315)

On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42076) - you deserved it (36795)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24044) - you deserved it (13187)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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