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  • Number of visits : 124
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zack949's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

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zack949's favorite FMLs

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31394) - you deserved it (1771)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23510) - you deserved it (29603)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (5053)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30226) - you deserved it (2779)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by neednewfriends (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (7471)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (40515)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Delaware)

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