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zachjack

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zachjack

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 857
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About zachjack : I'm awesome!

zachjack's page activity

Visits<b>nubbles10</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:14am<b>149967</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 7:25pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 1:09am<b>SuperPotato</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 1:34am<b>odod777</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 6:07pm<b>perdix</b> - the 11/23/2010 at 4:49pm<b>heyitsbrii</b> - the 07/29/2010 at 6:20pm<b>naynay93</b> - the 07/18/2010 at 3:50pm

zachjack's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zachjack's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (16953)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

#4200771
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39534) - you deserved it (7247)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:23am - intimacy - by Glassjaw (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40750) - you deserved it (21533)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

#855959
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22497) - you deserved it (94222)

On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

#798927
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18946) - you deserved it (144869)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (83456)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
875 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58665) - you deserved it (623841)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

#483851
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135491) - you deserved it (13391)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

#397272
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81647) - you deserved it (5662)

On 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by paymeinhugs - United States (New York)

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

#386198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38941) - you deserved it (85147)

On 03/16/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by badgrandchild - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

#213399
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36962) - you deserved it (11516)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54688) - you deserved it (14287)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (9516)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)



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