your_ma

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Offline (the 06/02/2015 at 12:31pm)

your_ma

69Fucked!

your_ma
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 April 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10688
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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your_ma's page activity

Visits<b>TigerShark1803</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 5:03pm<b>Rais</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 2:17pm<b>Junkie_Razor</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 2:56pm<b>Rican_Cutie</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 7:45am<b>lgarcia1178</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 8:36am<b>chelios88</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 10:12am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 5:21am<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 6:49pm<b>Goodliife</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:46pm<b>glory4oleg</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 7:06am<b>joco4</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 6:02am<b>angrykid11</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 1:25am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 7:24am<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 11:25pm<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 2:39am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:47am<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 1:14pm<b>oreo00</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 11:21pm

Fucked!<b>TigerShark1803</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Rais</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 8:18pm<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 12:49am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 10:56am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 6:18am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:49am<b>refticon</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 10:53pm<b>milehigh52</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:29am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:48am<b>copierce</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:05am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:40pm<b>SaniK</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:15pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 3:24am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:39am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:00am<b>amcquaid</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:01pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:45pm<b>int15</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:45pm

your_ma's FML badges

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

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You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

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your_ma's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

by Joe / 11/01/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 1:42am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

by stick / 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

by Ignitingmylightsaber / 10/18/2009 at 7:29am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

by ravestradamus / 10/12/2009 at 8:34am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 1:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I woke up excited for my trip to Jamaica with my friends. We went to the airport, and I gave them my passport to check in. They gave it back. It had expired three weeks ago. I watched my friends board the plane while I'm stuck in the city. FML

by hahahaha91 / 10/03/2009 at 3:59am / United States (Rhode Island) / Holidays

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

by dumbass / 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

by e11ie / 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML

by MissMSE / 09/18/2009 at 4:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML

by nV1ous / 09/17/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

by auscop / 09/17/2009 at 6:57am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

by itisthedude / 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 5:58am / New Zealand (Otago) / Miscellaneous