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your_ma

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 April 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4158
  • Number of comments : 227
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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your_ma's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11861) - you deserved it (44879)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

#6035078
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14890) - you deserved it (31062)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

#5912025
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6828) - you deserved it (147113)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17268) - you deserved it (2916)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

#5793265
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15934) - you deserved it (18569)

On 10/12/2009 at 8:34am - intimacy - by ravestradamus (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

#5655970
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11471) - you deserved it (37679)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up excited for my trip to Jamaica with my friends. We went to the airport, and I gave them my passport to check in. They gave it back. It had expired three weeks ago. I watched my friends board the plane while I'm stuck in the city. FML

#5617258
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13206) - you deserved it (45257)

On 10/03/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by hahahaha91 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

#5586348
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40355) - you deserved it (5178)

On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

#5509745
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19880) - you deserved it (2578)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by e11ie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML

#5313316
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11411) - you deserved it (49768)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by nV1ous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (77792)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12437) - you deserved it (69055)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174340) - you deserved it (17980)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13302) - you deserved it (48627)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)



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