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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Checking you out
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Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18490) - you deserved it (6523)
On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18703) - you deserved it (5712)
On 12/04/2009 at 5:16am - kids - by PhDdaughter (woman) - Switzerland (Fribourg)
Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14827) - you deserved it (66463)
On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (22495)
On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (3985)
On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3679) - you deserved it (38246)
On 11/27/2009 at 9:13am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I received two letters, one from my mom, other from my dad, about how much they missed me with me not being around them. I called my mom, feeling sad. She didn't sound sad at all. She asked me which letter was better. My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17005) - you deserved it (1379)
On 11/23/2009 at 7:07pm - love - by ssjin93 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14397) - you deserved it (3030)
On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5036) - you deserved it (27311)
On 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by firefliiez (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8259) - you deserved it (28005)
On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own and that I work at. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17489) - you deserved it (6461)
On 11/12/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9218) - you deserved it (34214)
On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11874) - you deserved it (23431)
On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4087) - you deserved it (106678)
On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12122) - you deserved it (2049)
On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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