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Why am I up so early?
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Checking you out
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Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (2467)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6879) - you deserved it (33011)
On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4763) - you deserved it (25741)
On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21882) - you deserved it (3705)
On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)
Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17988) - you deserved it (6138)
On 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by december2009 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (43495)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3828) - you deserved it (32973)
On 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by LaurenLehmmman (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5695) - you deserved it (64399)
On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5399) - you deserved it (36213)
On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said that I thought being glassed wouldnt actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6023) - you deserved it (21748)
On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said that I thought being glassed wouldnt actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6023) - you deserved it (21748)
On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (1707)
On 12/17/2009 at 10:35am - intimacy - by turriblebday (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8740) - you deserved it (27607)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5612) - you deserved it (18331)
On 12/11/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5924) - you deserved it (22703)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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