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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17546) - you deserved it (1431)
On 12/07/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22163) - you deserved it (1573)
On 12/06/2010 at 11:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4347) - you deserved it (28703)
On 12/02/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34343) - you deserved it (10981)
On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (15868) - you deserved it (27897)
On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me that I appear to have gained some weight. After realizing that it made me feel depressed, he tried to make me feel better by making love to me. I decided to go with it. While doing so, he paused and said "I'm sorry baby, but your weight is too much pressure for my back." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (5788)
On 11/11/2010 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5549) - you deserved it (34608)
On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31989) - you deserved it (5420)
On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7203) - you deserved it (17573)
On 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5329) - you deserved it (29440)
On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49163) - you deserved it (9961)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8130) - you deserved it (21125)
On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15312) - you deserved it (18536)
On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18685) - you deserved it (3415)
On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
I agree, your life sucks (17622) - you deserved it (4930)
On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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