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your_ma

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your_ma

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your_ma
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 April 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5052
  • Number of comments : 231
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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your_ma's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36426) - you deserved it (7643)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

#16842955
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9987) - you deserved it (42967)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by PandaMantis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

#16812577
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30834) - you deserved it (5709)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (57892)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31302) - you deserved it (12102)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29421) - you deserved it (4036)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14215) - you deserved it (42236)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14215) - you deserved it (42236)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16427) - you deserved it (27796)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

#16216813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9453) - you deserved it (46724)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:28am - intimacy - by paulwatson93 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (27521)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13962) - you deserved it (42127)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML

#16076552
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34710) - you deserved it (11010)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by lawl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13356) - you deserved it (47364)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia



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