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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 April 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8235
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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your_ma's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14871) - you deserved it (69926)

On 06/24/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by Whoops (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9706) - you deserved it (60764)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12226) - you deserved it (62804)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8867) - you deserved it (61694)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by stelno - United States (Michigan)

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22451) - you deserved it (45854)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36308) - you deserved it (324096)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14300) - you deserved it (71756)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23629) - you deserved it (73095)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13085) - you deserved it (67805)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by jazzyfizzle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML


I agree, your life sucks (226809) - you deserved it (24937)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (391845) - you deserved it (20611)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML


I agree, your life sucks (194780) - you deserved it (49647)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML


I agree, your life sucks (22969) - you deserved it (83793)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14255) - you deserved it (72850)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

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