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your_ma

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your_ma

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your_mayour_ma
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 April 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5394
  • Number of comments : 234
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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your_ma's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML

#17480475
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40743) - you deserved it (4725)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9145) - you deserved it (35677)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

#17425463
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31494) - you deserved it (6057)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34656) - you deserved it (3449)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (3247)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, severely tired and pulling an all-nighter, I was editing documents at work. Eventually the words blurred together and "which" began to look funny, so I corrected them. I realized too late that I'd turned in the company's brochure with every "which" spelt as "witch". FML

#17368765
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12382) - you deserved it (24714)

On 08/04/2011 at 4:49pm - work - by Donny - United States

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9774) - you deserved it (72327)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44111) - you deserved it (2971)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11706) - you deserved it (65562)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (3061)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, it started pouring while I was in the middle of a pizza delivery. I had to stand out in the rain for ten minutes while an old redneck dude wearing nothing but camo boxers fumbled around for the exact change to pay the bill. I think seeing his junk was supposed to count as my tip. FML

#17310535
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31820) - you deserved it (2807)

On 07/30/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by womboman - United States

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10017) - you deserved it (71516)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29926) - you deserved it (15530)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10406) - you deserved it (94329)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39108) - you deserved it (5364)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)



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