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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18593) - you deserved it (13093)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15651) - you deserved it (2007)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22400) - you deserved it (2863)
On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34446) - you deserved it (3533)
On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (66341)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (4478)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23428) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19238) - you deserved it (3106)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25122) - you deserved it (2207)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18347) - you deserved it (6124)
On 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by AMP4U - United States (California)
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27162) - you deserved it (3332)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (2347)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11740) - you deserved it (36542)
On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (4297)
On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Monday 17 June 2013
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