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yoimtrollin

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 7:14am) | Search for a member

yoimtrollin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2324
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About yoimtrollin : You're looking at my profile now.

yoimtrollin's page activity

Visits<b>cwrocker</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:12pm<b>slammed_gti</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:28am<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 3:55am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:05am<b>THELEGENDMRT</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:19pm<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:53am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 5:49am<b>lokiodinson</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 3:00am<b>jerryj</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:55pm<b>Bloink</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 7:32pm<b>shaww</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 7:26pm<b>XohXmyXjonas</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 1:52pm<b>reezy123</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:22pm<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm<b>steeeeee</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:47pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 3:06am<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 11:38pm

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yoimtrollin's favorite FMLs

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18814) - you deserved it (43371)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41852) - you deserved it (15622)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30986) - you deserved it (13646)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45873) - you deserved it (5461)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

#21234068
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (8389)

On 08/10/2014 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39481) - you deserved it (11770)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

#21232741
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47480) - you deserved it (2855)

On 08/08/2014 at 7:25pm - health - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vasternorrlands Lan)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49030) - you deserved it (21196)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

#21227795
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37328) - you deserved it (4263)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (6695)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42458) - you deserved it (4363)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52143) - you deserved it (9648)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66591) - you deserved it (4880)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42310) - you deserved it (6823)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (2994)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)



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