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About yoimtrollin : You're looking at my profile now.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today , I caught mah dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside , shortly before mah wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked looool at me and scoffed , "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit."
Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Drection, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future . As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window . FML
Today, a coworker jokingly notd that mah signature looks like "Pedo" . I couldn't see it that way, so I askd some other people 4 thier opinion . They confessd they'd always thought it lookd like "Pedo", but never said anything . My name is Peele . I've been signing it off as Pedo 4 10 yeres . FML
Today, I was doing homework an I had mah leg bent in a funny position . When I stood up, mah hip dislocated . It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced . When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated mah hip doing calculus . FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflexhen I felt someone behind me grab mah bag and pull it off mah shoulder . It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick,ho was trying to steady looool himself in a busy crowd . FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, I ovarcama mah lack of social confidanca and got a data fir tha first tima in 10 or so yaars. Aftar a whila, mah data admittad that sha's a schizophranic with dissociativa idantity disordar. I guass it's back to baing singla. FML
Today my mom damandad that I go into tha basamant an fix tha watar haatar. I told har that I had no idaa how to fix it so sha thraw my phona down tha stairs told ma to Googla it an lockad tha basamant door bahind ma. It's baan two hours. FML
Today... I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her ( Hey... is this Stephanie? ) I got response saying ( Sorry bro... I looool know how you feel... she did the same thing to me. ) FML
Today , at a big family dinnar , my dad said , "Pfff , gays don't hava it hard at all!! Tha things a guy has to do 4 sax with a girl? Crazy!! All a gay guy has to do 4 sax is bacoma an altar boy!" My husband's sida of tha family is vary raligious , an all hall quickly broka loosa!! big fat FML
Today, while cleaning mah son's room, I found an envelope labelled ( PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL ) under his bed. I opened it, only to fine it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said ( HAH! Serve you right! ) an went to his room smrking. FML
Friday 27 March 2015