yer_maw

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yer_maw

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 138543
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About yer_maw : I'm Kirsty [one on the right ;)]
FML gets me through shit days and hangovers.

I like driving badly, drinking dangerous volumes of diet irn bru, having crazy nights out, holidays, my friends, watching scrubs too much and being with Craig ;)

yer_maw's page activity

Visits<b>dno79</b> - 2 hours ago<b>eyepuppy</b> - 6 hours ago<b>cj89898</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:09pm<b>landonkoon</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 9:15pm<b>HotTea</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 12:43pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 8:12pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 12:42am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:10am<b>FrizzyGuide</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 10:17pm<b>billboob</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:54pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 4:53pm<b>jardy</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 5:05pm<b>john181997</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 5:51pm<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:46pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 4:40pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 6:40pm<b>insanelocket</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:57pm<b>m374lf0rlyf3</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:23am

Fucked!<b>dno79</b> - just now<b>john181997</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:51pm<b>mondesno</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:50pm<b>blueguy135</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 5:06am<b>robbyq</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:33am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:26pm<b>friedpicklez99</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:17am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:41am

yer_maw's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

yer_maw's favorite FMLs

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

by Ouch / 10/21/2009 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 10:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

by mylifesucks / 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

by jojo / 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

by ufhdafuhds / 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Intimacy

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

by thankskimi / 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy