I love FML and other people's shit lives :) it makes me laugh
and be greatful for not being retared like many of you.
Yeah so I'm a bitch, or just too sarcastic,
I'll let you decide (:
www.myspace.com/xkirsteekaiix {fucking add its ass}
follow me on twitter- actually don't cause it's shit basically
People should write more about themselves on this site.
"Feel like every chance to leave is another chance I should have took" - Brand New
shafters mate ;]
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door "Are you jacking off in there or something?!" and him scream back at her "Shut up you F*ing cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63380) - you totally deserved it (37067)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I proceeded to tell the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43200) - you totally deserved it (8662)
On 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42874) - you totally deserved it (6782)
On 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by jojo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65058) - you totally deserved it (13331)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47281) - you totally deserved it (5602)
On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend decided to strip me naked and blindfold me, then told me I'd get a reward if I caught her. So I ran around naked and blindfolded till I caught her, and then I yelled, "I want my prize on the kitchen table!" It was her mom who'd just got back from work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64582) - you totally deserved it (20472)
On 03/27/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by pdjordan (man) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83167) - you totally deserved it (6753)
On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (162019) - you totally deserved it (6435)
On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (216130) - you totally deserved it (238561)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (199939) - you totally deserved it (31700)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (419245) - you totally deserved it (25293)
On 02/09/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I just woke up next to the most unpopular girl in school. Damn Vodka. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5889) - you totally deserved it (49226)
On 11/06/2008 at 4:43am - intimacy - by Ben-Ben - France (Ile-de-France)
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