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yeldarb12

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yeldarb12

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  • Number of visits : 666
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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yeldarb12's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

#21505521
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (3464)

On 12/19/2015 at 2:20pm - love - by Sleeping Beauty - United States (New York)

Today, my boss fired three of the four other people who were going to work with me on Black Friday in my department. Now it's just me and a new hire. My boss doesn't see a problem. FML

#21496727
69 comments

Today, I told my parents I don't really like children and probably won't have any in the future. They sat me down and gave me a lecture on how people who hate kids are heartless. FML

#21496649
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (3496)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:30pm - kids - by Anonymous - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML

#21493622
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (2600)

On 11/17/2015 at 1:34pm - misc - by anon. - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML

#21493254
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23666) - you deserved it (1969)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:39pm - work - by ScreweD- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

#21493038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25541) - you deserved it (4733)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

#21492751
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (2543)

On 11/15/2015 at 10:21am - kids - by michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I got several angry messages on Facebook, demanding to know how I could cheat on my wife. They didn't believe me when I said I had no idea what they meant. Turns out my wife made a sarcastic post about my "new mistress". She was talking about Fallout 4. FML

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

#21491812
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (3586)

On 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

#21491595
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27912) - you deserved it (2975)

On 11/12/2015 at 4:09am - intimacy - by notyourmummy (woman) - United Kingdom (Isle of Wight)

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML

#21487037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28951) - you deserved it (1443)

On 11/01/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by sabotaged - United States (California)

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

#21485867
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (2743)

On 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by caroline (woman) - Germany

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

#21483983
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (7329)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:47pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

#21483973
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32471) - you deserved it (1875)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



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