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yeldarb12

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yeldarb12

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  • Number of visits : 489
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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yeldarb12's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

#21451089
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9628) - you deserved it (1198)

On 08/02/2015 at 10:57pm - kids - by BrandonDrapeau - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13711) - you deserved it (22452)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22594) - you deserved it (6515)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

#21449035
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25602) - you deserved it (2018)

On 07/29/2015 at 11:30am - money - by fukingtigans (man) - Croatia (Zadarska)

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

#21448265
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22028) - you deserved it (1577)

On 07/27/2015 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

#21447742
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (2358)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by wot02 (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend of three years that I wanted to get married and have a child within the next five years. He responded by packing up my things and showing me the door. FML

#21447549
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (4940)

On 07/26/2015 at 2:20pm - love - by rissa5214 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27494) - you deserved it (4736)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

#21441743
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26853) - you deserved it (1928)

On 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm - work - by ineedaraise (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25245) - you deserved it (2537)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (2907)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43040) - you deserved it (18003)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56538) - you deserved it (3013)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

#21177356
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25077) - you deserved it (44187)

On 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (4318)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)



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