Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yankfan89

Offline (44 minutes ago) | Search for a member

yankfan89

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 May 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6773
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About yankfan89 : That's ATP
I'm a chemistry nerd

yankfan89's page activity

Visits<b>polarbearpiss</b> - 2 hours ago<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:10pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:04pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:15am<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:27am<b>SecretAgent_700</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:45am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:51am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:16am<b>gamerkz</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:02am<b>ugglanation</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:59am<b>absterdoodle</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:32pm<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:34am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:28pm<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:25pm<b>lmfaofmllmafo</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:25pm<b>jules8you</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:02am<b>kawaiikittii</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:46pm

yankfan89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of yankfan89's badges

yankfan89's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (23362)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12363) - you deserved it (35847)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23364) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (2076)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22009) - you deserved it (2526)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37986) - you deserved it (2203)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11462) - you deserved it (152475)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (6206)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (6206)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML

#20022706
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25135) - you deserved it (6412)

On 08/15/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by foreveravirgin (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36788) - you deserved it (4071)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

#20020549
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18816) - you deserved it (1534)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24306) - you deserved it (6889)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: