About yankfan89 : That's ATP
I'm a chemistry nerd
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Mobility
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50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45936) - you deserved it (2453)
On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43868) - you deserved it (7190)
On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71062) - you deserved it (10854)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (278083) - you deserved it (22651)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (989787) - you deserved it (78781)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14298) - you deserved it (74832)
On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (50615)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45702) - you deserved it (4902)
On 02/24/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by asdfghjkl_12 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7725) - you deserved it (41718)
On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37099) - you deserved it (1989)
On 02/18/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by Nikkalicious16 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11621) - you deserved it (65021)
On 02/15/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by Mofisto (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that I know more about the Transformers history than I do about talking to women. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9254) - you deserved it (32738)
On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (484006) - you deserved it (43473)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (222870) - you deserved it (37833)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (177228) - you deserved it (7211)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:51am - intimacy - by rexob (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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