Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yankfan89

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

yankfan89

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 May 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7328
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About yankfan89 : That's ATP
I'm a chemistry nerd

yankfan89's page activity

Visits<b>kayzers</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:49pm<b>AWildNoeAppeared</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:29pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 8:11pm<b>tzemmy</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:52pm<b>brwolfie</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:47pm<b>hardesty</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Shiny_nickels</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 4:46am<b>ghosthuggers</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:49pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 6:57pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:10pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:04pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:15am<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:27am<b>SecretAgent_700</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:45am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:51am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:16am

yankfan89's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of yankfan89's badges

yankfan89's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (142029)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71514) - you deserved it (3165)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (146080)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (146080)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (146080)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58718) - you deserved it (3557)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17095) - you deserved it (95183)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (372465) - you deserved it (18998)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

#1834550
640 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94536) - you deserved it (8626)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (437448) - you deserved it (60164)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

#1693218
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71475) - you deserved it (4647)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23551) - you deserved it (83099)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

#1479703
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80999) - you deserved it (4059)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

#1176288
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (117726)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: