Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yankfan89

Offline (yesterday at 10:11pm) | Search for a member

yankfan89

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 May 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8176
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About yankfan89 : That's ATP
I'm a chemistry nerd

yankfan89's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - yesterday at 11:58pm<b>stangluv</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:56pm<b>CyprisVerum</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:37am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:42am<b>bardo264</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:26pm<b>dontlookman</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:28pm<b>anonyi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:05am<b>Shluurm</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:53am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:49pm<b>AWildNoeAppeared</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:29pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 8:11pm<b>tzemmy</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:52pm<b>brwolfie</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:47pm

Fucked!<b>anonyi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:05pm

yankfan89's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of yankfan89's badges

yankfan89's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62832) - you deserved it (12259)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62832) - you deserved it (12259)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62832) - you deserved it (12259)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

#2816506
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51176) - you deserved it (6018)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66920) - you deserved it (14843)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML

#2734001
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47504) - you deserved it (8248)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

#2656270
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44930) - you deserved it (11554)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70988) - you deserved it (4860)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32141) - you deserved it (77791)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88920) - you deserved it (233935)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (49557)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

#2339155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48910) - you deserved it (2680)

On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother came up to me a swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML

#2262925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47310) - you deserved it (2779)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
433 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (150078)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
433 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (150078)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: