Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yankfan89

Online | Search for a member

yankfan89

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 May 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7962
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About yankfan89 : That's ATP
I'm a chemistry nerd

yankfan89's page activity

Visits<b>bardo264</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:26pm<b>dontlookman</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:28pm<b>anonyi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:05am<b>Shluurm</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:53am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:49pm<b>AWildNoeAppeared</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:29pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 8:11pm<b>tzemmy</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:52pm<b>brwolfie</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Shiny_nickels</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 4:46am<b>ghosthuggers</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:49pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 6:57pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:10pm

Fucked!<b>anonyi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:05pm

yankfan89's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of yankfan89's badges

yankfan89's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62792) - you deserved it (12255)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62792) - you deserved it (12255)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62792) - you deserved it (12255)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

#2816506
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51135) - you deserved it (6016)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66876) - you deserved it (14838)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML

#2734001
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45228) - you deserved it (7935)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

#2656270
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44903) - you deserved it (11547)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70942) - you deserved it (4855)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (77727)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88766) - you deserved it (233199)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (49538)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

#2339155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48882) - you deserved it (2680)

On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother came up to me a swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML

#2262925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47265) - you deserved it (2778)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
433 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19752) - you deserved it (148203)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
433 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19752) - you deserved it (148203)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: