Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yankfan89

Online | Search for a member

yankfan89

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 May 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6543
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About yankfan89 : That's ATP
I'm a chemistry nerd

yankfan89's page activity

Visits<b>JuzReading</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:04pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:15am<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:27am<b>SecretAgent_700</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:45am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:51am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:16am<b>gamerkz</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:02am<b>ugglanation</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:59am<b>absterdoodle</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:32pm<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:34am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:28pm<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:25pm<b>lmfaofmllmafo</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:25pm<b>jules8you</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:02am<b>kawaiikittii</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 10:19am<b>Toast7</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 2:22pm

yankfan89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of yankfan89's badges

yankfan89's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (3952)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

#2874076
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37315) - you deserved it (58395)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139742) - you deserved it (10002)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61468) - you deserved it (11976)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61468) - you deserved it (11976)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61468) - you deserved it (11976)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

#2816506
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50875) - you deserved it (5993)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66559) - you deserved it (14803)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML

#2734001
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44984) - you deserved it (7910)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

#2656270
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44710) - you deserved it (11519)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70574) - you deserved it (4836)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30024) - you deserved it (74750)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83833) - you deserved it (221950)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20501) - you deserved it (49372)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

#2339155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48583) - you deserved it (2674)

On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: