yankfan89

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yankfan89

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 May 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11554
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About yankfan89 : That's ATP
I'm a chemistry nerd

yankfan89's page activity

Visits<b>doodlerad</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:01am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 6:25pm<b>raven83</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:26am<b>feelsmami</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 12:41am<b>pred8885</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:51pm<b>racerboy102</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 12:13am<b>Silvercat15</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:19am<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 4:17pm<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:59pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:53pm<b>angogogo</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 8:21am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 1:56am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:52pm<b>iDrownKittens</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 4:28am<b>_MintyFresh</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:38am<b>panromantic</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 3:37pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 12:10pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:45am

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 7:54pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 12:06am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:22pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:52am<b>anonyi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:05pm

yankfan89's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of yankfan89's badges

yankfan89's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my first wedding anniversary, or Paper anniversary. I got him airline tickets for an expensive weekend break for two in Berlin. He got me a toilet roll. FML

by Andrexwife / 07/31/2009 at 3:03am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Love

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

by PTKFML / 07/26/2009 at 12:37am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

by PokeTheBear / 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm / Canada / Work

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

by Loveless / 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

by anonamous / 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2009 at 1:11am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

by notawizard / 07/16/2009 at 6:16am / Spain (Catalonia) / Kids

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

by hockey9797 / 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

by homedoggieo / 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

by Best-stuf-on-Earth / 07/12/2009 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Health