Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yankfan89

Offline (9 minutes ago) | Search for a member

yankfan89

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 May 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7898
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About yankfan89 : That's ATP
I'm a chemistry nerd

yankfan89's page activity

Visits<b>dontlookman</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:28pm<b>anonyi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:05am<b>Shluurm</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:53am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:49pm<b>AWildNoeAppeared</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:29pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 8:11pm<b>tzemmy</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:52pm<b>brwolfie</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Shiny_nickels</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 4:46am<b>ghosthuggers</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:49pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 6:57pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:10pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:04pm

Fucked!<b>anonyi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:05pm

yankfan89's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of yankfan89's badges

yankfan89's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

#4207325
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52955) - you deserved it (12426)

On 08/01/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Maria39018 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67233) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

#4186568
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14174) - you deserved it (64415)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it's my first wedding anniversary, or Paper anniversary. I got him airline tickets for an expensive weekend break for two in Berlin. He got me a toilet roll. FML

#4175008
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40732) - you deserved it (4461)

On 07/31/2009 at 3:03am - love - by Andrexwife (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57556) - you deserved it (17258)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

#3956685
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45665) - you deserved it (5192)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57158) - you deserved it (28911)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

#3890041
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (222072) - you deserved it (14031)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

#3830576
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (91410)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

#3821134
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7795) - you deserved it (82558)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227
577 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30179) - you deserved it (89298)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59487) - you deserved it (3693)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: