About yankfan89 : That's ATP
I'm a chemistry nerd
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47124) - you deserved it (5707)
On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27083) - you deserved it (3073)
On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/21/2013 at 2:42pm - animals - by DommeAshlee - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46536) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17759) - you deserved it (29613)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (1490)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27651) - you deserved it (2200)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18403) - you deserved it (3283)
On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23920) - you deserved it (3035)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (2188)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8604) - you deserved it (19111)
On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16450) - you deserved it (24073)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (7964)
On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France
Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (7522) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/31/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by heallven - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (2015)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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