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yankfan89

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 11:26pm) | Search for a member

yankfan89

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 May 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6421
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About yankfan89 : That's ATP
I'm a chemistry nerd

yankfan89's page activity

Visits<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:51am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:16am<b>gamerkz</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:02am<b>ugglanation</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:59am<b>absterdoodle</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:32pm<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:34am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:28pm<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:25pm<b>lmfaofmllmafo</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:25pm<b>jules8you</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:02am<b>kawaiikittii</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 10:19am<b>Toast7</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 2:22pm<b>hulopro</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:18pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 12:10am<b>DemolitionLovers</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 12:14am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:07pm

yankfan89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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yankfan89's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58603) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55037) - you deserved it (64169)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59737) - you deserved it (10735)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33198) - you deserved it (4460)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55086) - you deserved it (4424) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (43099)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34975) - you deserved it (2941)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33017) - you deserved it (2594)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (4798)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30279) - you deserved it (4339)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11229) - you deserved it (28736)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you deserved it (36032)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32572) - you deserved it (8885)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France



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