About yankee_lovrXXo : I'm just so friggin hilarious.
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yankee_lovrXXo's favorite FMLs
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML
by warp_routine / 03/31/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Vermont) / Health
Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML
by rejected / 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by churchgoer / 03/19/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, the hottest girl in the entire freshman class was telling her friend she was going to Florida for spring break. She said she would be in the same city I would and I couldnt help but say, "Oh, cool! Maybe I'll see you there!" She simply looked at me and said, "I hope not." FML
by evanescence / 03/14/2009 at 8:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML
by astroloser / 03/07/2009 at 11:10am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the bank with my seven year old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML
by lexibabe / 03/02/2009 at 7:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by legit / 03/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman that sits in the desk beside me looks over and says, "wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 6:00pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Duckie W / 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by a genius / 02/12/2009 at 8:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML
by misc / 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by sampaloompy / 01/08/2009 at 3:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
by Wickls / 12/18/2008 at 3:30am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…