About yankee_lovrXXo : I'm just so friggin hilarious.
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yankee_lovrXXo's favorite FMLs
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 7:10pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
by Awkward / 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Fran / 01/09/2010 at 3:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML
by wheresthelove / 12/30/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays
by Cathy / 12/14/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Florida) / Money
by ? / 11/29/2009 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
by DeeElleGee / 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by ouchh / 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
by keeperstride / 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I wrote a note for my crush of 2 years, expressing all my feelings for him signed it as "Forever your lover" then I slipped it into his locker. Later that day, he walked back up to me, tossed the note at me and said "You know I recognize your handwriting, right?" FML
by fmynote / 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by 16isntsweet / 08/20/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…