About yankee_lovrXXo : I'm just so friggin hilarious.
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yankee_lovrXXo's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
by JordanVilleneuve / 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML
by Fucked / 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 11:35pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 12:21am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
by sydysyd / 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Love
by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML
by betrayed / 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML
by errints234234 / 05/13/2010 at 7:31pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by fml / 03/07/2010 at 10:46am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML
by ICantBelieveThis / 03/06/2010 at 9:31am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by thatssickkk / 02/17/2010 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…