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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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yabrett

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yabrett
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25494
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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yabrett's favorite FMLs

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (9552) - you deserved it (29603)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (7970) - you deserved it (23997)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in a field 3 miles from where I'd passed out drunk. This wouldn't have been too bad if I didn't have to walk home through town without my pants. FML

#13417824 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (5693) - you deserved it (23700)

On 10/12/2010 at 6:59am - misc - by kronin - United States

Today, after a promotion at work, my new manager made me reset my password for a website we use. To do so, I had to answer the secret question I’d set two years prior. The question was "What is your favorite activity?" The answer I had to type out in front of my manager was "Drinking." FML

#13261887 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (5047) - you deserved it (20123)

On 09/30/2010 at 10:07am - work - by T. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (1962)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (8470)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for the chicken I bought four days ago. I finally found it - not in the refrigerator, not in the freezer, but in the trunk of my car, which now smells like a dead animal. FML

#12968691 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (4459) - you deserved it (16218)

On 09/08/2010 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31071) - you deserved it (10652)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (4586)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (26051) - you deserved it (15685)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (21356) - you deserved it (5165)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (6851) - you deserved it (55052)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

#12353500 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (2541)

On 08/06/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by shitpile - United States

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

#11875155 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (11265) - you deserved it (16349)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:47pm - misc - by rofld (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I mailed out all my Christmas cards. As I was relaxing and being impressed with myself for being so organized this year, I saw the stack of Christmas cards on the coffee table. Everyone will be receiving an empty envelope for Christmas this year. FML

#6680637 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (6076) - you deserved it (22780)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by ChristmasCardDork (woman) - United States (Hawaii)