Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xyadove

Search for a member

xyadove
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 949
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xyadove's last visitors

alexmac222deathpostsRetrokittymartinez121797

xyadove's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of xyadove's badges

xyadove's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and I. It started with, "I love you", and ended with, "You and your brother were mistakes." FML

#13634494
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (2251)

On 10/29/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by yeaokay - United States (California)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (4352)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

#13352571
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39225) - you deserved it (2650)

On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42386) - you deserved it (9534)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35201) - you deserved it (5394)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38676) - you deserved it (4237)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (2314)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (32118)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32450) - you deserved it (2823)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13372) - you deserved it (52181)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34658) - you deserved it (9200)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34658) - you deserved it (9200)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: