xyadove

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Offline (the 07/19/2015 at 7:32pm)

xyadove

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2682
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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xyadove's page activity

Visits<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:56pm<b>anonyferret</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 9:56am<b>TigranPet</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:22am<b>TheSalty</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 12:20am<b>LRiver</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:12pm<b>ismedrage</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:16pm<b>badlukbryan22</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:24am<b>Saywat145</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:10am<b>Lutero69</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:58am<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:30am<b>mimihuseen_</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:19pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:00pm<b>423</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 5:41pm<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:53am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 9:52am<b>deathposts</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 9:08am<b>abhi5</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:19am

xyadove's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of xyadove's badges

xyadove's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and I. It started with, "I love you", and ended with, "You and your brother were mistakes." FML

by yeaokay / 10/29/2010 at 1:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

by Alex / 10/07/2010 at 6:10am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

by nickim756 / 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2010 at 5:15am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

by dentallycorrect / 08/19/2010 at 1:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

by incestastic / 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

by kinky / 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 12:53am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

by reckless / 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

by imustbegay / 05/09/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

by imustbegay / 05/09/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy