xyadove

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Offline (the 07/19/2015 at 7:32pm)

xyadove

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2754
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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xyadove's page activity

Visits<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:56pm<b>anonyferret</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 9:56am<b>TigranPet</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:22am<b>TheSalty</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 12:20am<b>LRiver</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:12pm<b>ismedrage</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:16pm<b>badlukbryan22</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:24am<b>Saywat145</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:10am<b>Lutero69</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:58am<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:30am<b>mimihuseen_</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:19pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:00pm<b>423</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 5:41pm<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:53am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 9:52am<b>deathposts</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 9:08am<b>abhi5</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:19am

xyadove's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of xyadove's badges

xyadove's favorite FMLs

Today, my son invited his girlfriend over to our house just to break up with her. Then he asked me to drive her home. So I was then stuck in a car with a bawling teenage girl who lived over twenty minutes away. FML

by Username / 06/16/2011 at 9:20am / United States / Love

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

by Mom / 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

by fatteningmeup / 05/26/2011 at 10:24am / United States / Health

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

by failure / 04/08/2011 at 1:24am / Intimacy

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

by shelby / 03/30/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Health

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny to hide behind the ice machine at work and jump out randomly and scare people. This resulted in my first victim whacking me in the head with a skateboard. FML

by me / 12/16/2010 at 10:29am / Work

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm / South Africa / Animals

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

by idiot / 10/30/2010 at 4:42pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy