xxxeelaa

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xxxeelaa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11059
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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xxxeelaa's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:18am<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 5:55am<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 2:22pm<b>nafur15</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 11:49pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 4:48pm<b>GtaTomV</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 4:29pm<b>beth12</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 6:29pm

xxxeelaa's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xxxeelaa's favorite FMLs

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

by uglyguy252 / 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

by penguinsfan / 05/16/2009 at 10:47am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

by TayTay / 05/16/2009 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

by dammitall / 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

by bezoar10 / 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

by thesitter / 05/10/2009 at 9:18am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

by Failoffel / 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

by man / 05/08/2009 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

by schmoodles / 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work