About xxxInsanexxx : I'm currently in highschool. I love FML and happy to finally gotten around to making an account. :)
Peace.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40223) - you deserved it (3157)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (13023)
On 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm - kids - by nyaahaha - United States
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19109) - you deserved it (8243)
On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)
Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36859) - you deserved it (5660)
On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26499) - you deserved it (13921)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21334) - you deserved it (10597)
On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21334) - you deserved it (10597)
On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -
Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36888) - you deserved it (4226) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/10/2011 at 10:56am - kids - by Hahapasdroleleptit - France
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9899) - you deserved it (27571)
On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was insulted online by a teenager who said that I was probably a fat loser that still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (49074)
On 05/05/2009 at 6:32am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (188660) - you deserved it (21072)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (77632) - you deserved it (3602)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
