xxxInsanexxx

Search for a member

xxxInsanexxx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 31 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 959
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xxxInsanexxx : I'm currently in highschool. I love FML and happy to finally gotten around to making an account. :)

Peace.

xxxInsanexxx's page activity

Visits<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 3:28pm<b>rhyspiecesno8</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:14pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:21am<b>futureot1</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 9:51am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 4:05am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 7:46pm<b>logger1993</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:43pm<b>klisterable</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:41pm<b>LeaAnne94</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:22am<b>hanikassakinah</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 12:01am<b>XxeftxX</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 12:38am<b>LukaSchmidt</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 12:15am<b>xShadows</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 9:23pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 6:29pm<b>peceout</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 4:13am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 5:33pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:57pm

xxxInsanexxx's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of xxxInsanexxx's badges

xxxInsanexxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 10:02am / Australia / Kids

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

by tcm123 / 10/29/2012 at 12:31am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

by lonelygirl / 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 10:29am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

by Ashamed / 04/20/2012 at 3:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy