HOLA.
name's sidney.
i love my boyyy. (:
and the Friday Night Boys.
i'm a dark, twisted, bizzare little girl...
but everyone seems to love it.
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
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On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
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On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - kids - by Ben (man) - United States
Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML
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On 08/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
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On 08/21/2009 at 4:06am - love - by tacoboy (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend threw me a going-away party. During the party, I caught him in my bedroom hooking up with my friend because "you're leaving soon anyway so it doesn't matter." I'll only be gone for 6 weeks. FML
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On 08/20/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by lonelyinlondon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my sweet sixteen party. All my best friends came to the microphone to make a little speech. When my boyfriend came to do his, he broke up with me. FML
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On 08/20/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by 16isntsweet (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at the mall, kissing another man. His partner got up and went to the bathroom, so I went up to my ex. I told him I didn't know he was gay, and he just smiled politely. Then his partner came out and I recognized him as my current boyfriend. FML
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On 08/20/2009 at 2:45pm - love - by Lil (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML
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On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I flew 8 hours to visit my boyfriend. When I arrived at the airport, and he started taking long to show up, I checked my email to see the info. I hit the junk mail by accident and found his last 10 emails in there. He had broken up with me a week ago. FML
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On 08/19/2009 at 11:03am - love - by MariadelMar (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
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On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
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On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML
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On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
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On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got my first kiss. I'm 56. FML
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On 08/16/2009 at 12:33am - love - by bathtime_ (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML
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On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States
