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About xxsarxx : 19 years old, my friend told me about this site. Now I spend all my time on it when I want to stall from doing homework. Aha
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77263) - you deserved it (3978)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59323) - you deserved it (144029)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26863) - you deserved it (42313)
On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I did some math. Relaxing bubble bath soap: $17.00. Enough water to fill a bathtub: $10. Favorite tea: $4. Organic candle: $8. Looking out the window to see your 70+ year old male neighbor taking pictures of you lowering yourself into your bath: Priceless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53654) - you deserved it (8450)
On 05/28/2009 at 11:00am - money - by BABYof_theGROUP (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64514) - you deserved it (4266)
On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44364) - you deserved it (1665)
On 05/07/2009 at 12:53am - work - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (233321) - you deserved it (20086)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I put my AIM status on my Current iTunes song. It also does it for videos I don't know. I've downloaded a lot of porn in my iTunes, and I wanted to watch. My status on AIM was "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12725) - you deserved it (102337)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79588) - you deserved it (5505)
On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43866) - you deserved it (23752)
On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80167) - you deserved it (3222)
On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on msn when her roommate answered «Sorry, this is not Marie, she is at her boyfriend’s». Really? I've looked everywhere in my flat, I can’t find her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53566) - you deserved it (2209)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Icy -
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