About xxlivingcorpsexx : My name is Gary (yes, like the fucking snail). Currently 16 years of age. I'm into many of the metal sub-genres, my favorite being math-core :D I love to read books, and I'm a stickler for decent spelling and grammar.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17724) - you deserved it (4410)
On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)
Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (1793)
On 01/03/2012 at 3:14am - love - by snarly1 - United States (California)
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (1962)
On 01/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by cheese123 (woman) - United States
Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (9502)
On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (5435)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (7344)
On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22291) - you deserved it (2238)
On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (6866)
On 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by thathurt (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43730) - you deserved it (7692)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17976) - you deserved it (1911)
On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States
Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (4495)
On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16798) - you deserved it (3164)
On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada
Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23603) - you deserved it (1832)
On 12/29/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Grossed Out (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25562) - you deserved it (6210)
On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23723) - you deserved it (3463)
On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Monday 17 June 2013
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